I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
