i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
where are you?
Hypothermia
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
