brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
