His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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