i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
