p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
