My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
