guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
