Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
