i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
this boner is exhausting
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
