Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
And then my night got REAL pukey
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
