I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
ttyl tear gas
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
