She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
