roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Randomize
