He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
MIDGETS
????
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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