:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
