please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
