well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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