I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Come on in and take your pants off
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