I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
