i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
