god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
