Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Randomize
