yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
