Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
