And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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