Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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