and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
