i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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