I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Randomize
