If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
