I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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