Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
