I just gift wrapped bread.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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