4 words: hood of his car
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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