It's like a parade of train wrecks.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
