What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
