What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
