some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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