She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
