I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
NoShamevember. You game?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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