you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
