So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
They took my balls.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
