A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
