I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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