Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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