Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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