Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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