I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
