i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
