You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
